This Time
by Jewel3
Summary: It's almost strange to see him again. X2 fic.


**Please read the Author's notes, and check out the picture I made for this fic - thank you!  
  
Title: This Time  
Author: Jewel  
Email: jewel_kaufman@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG  
Photo Manip: For some reason fanfiction.net won't let me write out the link to the pic here... so, if you wanna see it, it's at geocities dot com, /jewel_kaufman2/ThisTime.jpg - please take a look?  
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be... Now there's a depressing thought. Oh, also, the lyrics at the beginning are from Chantal Kreviazuk's song "Time", which also makes them not mine. *sigh* I can't win...  
Feedback: Pretty please? On the photo manip too, if possible? It's my first...  
Summary: "It's almost strange to see him again."  
Archive Rights: DDFH, WRFA - please put the photo manip up too, if you can. Everyone else, ask and ye shall have.  
Spoiler Warning: Basically nothing plotwise... And, if you've seen the footage aired during Smallville a few weeks ago, that's basically all there is. There's allusions to some events, but only vaguely, so I doubt it'd ruin anything if you haven't yet seen the film.  
Notes: Okay, so I know I said I wanted to get my other stories out before X2 premiered, but that didn't happen. *sigh* I'm going to think of them as therapy fics now ;) But anyways, I saw X2 on twice on opening day, and even though I said I was gonna finish all my other stuff first, I was walking through the mall afterwards thinking about everything I'd just seen, when this song came on the speaker-things and I got the idea for this fic that I just _had_ to write ASAP. The idea had kinda been percolating as I'd watched the scene in question and then the rest of the movie, but hearing the song just solidified what I was wanting to say. So... hope y'all like it, and that it makes things even a little easier for those who didn't especially like the way Rogue was portrayed in X2.  
Dedication: To Heather and Taryn for all their wonderful feedback - especially Taryn's "Wait a minute....._how_ old did you tell me you were again" comment, cuz that just made my day *g*. And, thank you _so_ much to everyone who's given me such sweet feedback for "Hazard To Herself", I swear the next in that series is coming soon. :D Also, I can't forget my good friend Stephie, who's endeared herself to me forever by saying, "Rogue reminds me of you. I'm not sure why-- it isn't just 'cuz you're the one who got me to watch X-1 in the first place; it's more... her mannerisms and the way she talks and moves and sort of the way she looks, too. It's cool." and last but certainly not least - to my very own 'Forever Guy', who's shown me the virtue in having a little patience. Happy birthday, Precious.  
  
  
  
_~Now, this is my time, and I'm going to make this moment mine. I'll take what you give me, please know that I'm learning. So wait for me this time...~_  
  
  
It's almost strange to see him again. Strange, too, how I didn't even hesitate to hug him.  
  
My arms are soon thrown almost carelessly around his shoulders, and he'd automatically moved to catch me as I practically leapt forward. Strange... and yet not so strange at all.  
  
There's barely a moment to welcome him all by myself before I can hear familiar footsteps walking up behind me.  
  
A quick glance over my shoulder, and I know it's time to make the introduction that I can't help but wonder if I still want to make. There's not enough time for reconsidering though, and if there was I'd just come to the same conclusion as before; I know it's for the best. "This is Bobby." I start, "He's my-"  
  
"I'm her boyfriend." He says, interrupting me, "Call me Iceman."  
  
Well. That was real inviting, wasn't it? And is he- did he just freeze Logan's hand??  
  
Oh yeah. They're really gonna be the _best_ of friends.  
  
I'm not quite sure what to say after that, and I feel my way-too-bright smile sorta freeze on my face as I silently pray that he'll understand, that he'll realize why I'm not bitching Bobby into next week for the macho possessiveness he feels the need to display.  
  
I would have, if it were towards anyone else - but I can't fault a minor reaction towards the only man Bobby could ever reasonably worry about.  
  
Or, I _can_... but I can let it go.  
  
See, Logan... He's the 'Forever Guy'. Once we get together - and we both know it's only a matter of time - then that's it. That's the end of it. No more searching, no more wondering... When it happens, it'll be for the rest of my life. Forever.  
  
But... I'm just not ready for forever to start yet.  
  
I thought I was, before, I mean. I thought I was ready for it. He was the one who hadn't been ready. He'd needed answers, needed to know who he was... and I understood. I didn't want him to go, but I knew he needed time to find out who he was, and I didn't mind waiting a little while - especially once he gave me the tags. He said he'd be back for me, and I believed him.  
  
But as time went on, and I got to watch the people around me living lives I'd almost forgotten were possible, I started seeing all these things I'd missed out on - all these things I hadn't done, seen or otherwise experienced...  
  
The first boy I ever kissed wound up in a coma, and while other people my age were going through all the first dates, loves and breakups that happen in your teenage years, I was on the road, scavenging for food and rides and, well, not doing that other stuff. Watching the romantic merry-go-round that's continuously spinning around the mansion, a big part of me ached for that normalcy, for those millions of mini-milestones that so many people take for granted... and I wondered if forever could be pushed back just a little for me as well.  
  
And this? What I have now? Well, it's not the all-consuming love and passion that I know await the two of us... but it's everything I missed, everything I should've already had. It's sweet, and refreshingly innocent, and wonderful in it's own special way.  
  
And I _need_ it. I really do. I almost didn't realize how very much I do, but it's true. I can't be a naive little girl for the rest of my life. I know I'm far from it, in so many ways... but when it comes to love, to relationships - I barely know anything. And that's not good enough. I need to be me, to know who I am as a whole person before my future can be anything approaching attainable.  
  
And being Bobby's girlfriend, even if it's just for a little while...? It feels right, right now. I like him, and he likes me... It feels like something I need to do.  
  
And if it is, it's something I need to do _right_.  
  
I won't use him. I won't put Bobby in the second place part - that's not fair to him or me. As long as I'm with Bobby, I'm going to be _with Bobby_, and I won't be going to Logan for anything more than friendship until it's over. I already know Bobby and I won't last forever, I've known from the very beginning. His eagerness to prove he isn't afraid of my skin will result in an accident one day. It's practically inevitable. And when that happens, the doubts he won't admit to having will have finally surfaced too much for either of us to ignore.  
  
I can only hope that when the times comes, we can go back to the friends we started out as being. If he's willing, I don't think it'll be hard - I really do like him a lot. Despite any and everything else going on, I really do like him a whole helluva lot.  
  
Though my expression doesn't change, I let everything in my mind flash instantaneously through my eyes as I look at Logan, praying his ability to see right through me hasn't faded over time. ~Please, Logan,~ I think to him, ~Please let me have this. I'll still be yours, but I need to be _mine_ first...~  
  
After what seems like forever - but is really only just barely a moment - I see comprehension dawn, and Logan shoots me an understanding look, coupled with an almost imperceptible tilt of the head before a not-so-vaguely amused expression settles over his features.  
  
"Boyfriend?" He repeats, and - uh-oh. I don't like that tone. "So how do you guys..." Oh, fuck me. I should've expected as much. I know you wouldn't do anything to actually hurt Bobby, Sugar - but you never were one to back down from a challenge either.  
  
Besides, why break Bobby's fingers when you can just piss me off - right?  
  
Fine. I'll giggle and share an awkward look with Bobby right now, and then I'll kick your ass all over the Danger Room later. By the hint of that familiar smirk on your face, I'm guessing you know exactly what's coming.  
  
"We're still kinda working on that." Bobby demurrs when we both look back at Logan, and I let my still-bright smile turn sickeningly sweet, a vague promise of the Wolverine's impending doom in my eyes.  
  
I can already see how this will go. I know we'll be at each others' throats just as often as we'll be inseparable - if not moreso. I know we'll nearly kill each other several times over for each time we'll sit down and have a conversation. I know that if you stick around, life in the mansion will be pretty damn interesting for the next little while...  
  
That's okay though, because in this case, the battle will be half the fun. It'll be good for both of us, for me to see how this goes. And I'm not going to do a half-assed job of it, either. I'm going to be faithful, I'm going to be young... and I'm going to enjoy all of it for as long as it lasts.  
  
I'm not quite ready for forever yet, but one day soon I will be, just like Logan is now. I can see it in his eyes, even buried in mirth, and I know what it means. He's going to give me this time to become whoever I am - and that's really all I need.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
